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2011.01.29 (Sat)

谢谢你们教给我的事情

今天跟琨仔和winnie一起,在大良大吃特吃了一番。为了避免迟到特意调了闹钟......结果还是迟到了......
琨仔和winnie很随意,就跟初高中时候一样,很随意,所以,跟她们在一起很轻松,不用想这么多复杂的东西。不用像一般女生一样,讨论男朋友讨论化妆讨论衣服.......跟她们在一起我觉得我才是真实的。
太久没有跟winnie在一起,winnie一点也没有变。很直爽很文艺....囧,但是让我感觉很亲切。在她们面前也不用伪装什么,正如我写这篇文字的时候其实是泪眼朦胧的。
终于知道为什么在学校很伤心很难过的时候总会想打电话给winnie,给dino,因为她们能让我做回我自己,做回那个自信的快乐的自己,能释放最真实的自己。而在学校,我往往不能。
所以说我讨厌读文科。时间太多了总有有乱七八糟的事情来填满,但往往不是书本。淘宝上的衣服,无数的美剧.......我总是遗忘了我自己。我喜欢一个人安静的看书做题,开心的时候出去走走,不开心的时候有人说说话而不会不理我而已。但是就是这样的希望,我觉得是这么的遥远。
可能我从来就不属于一个地方,我有一种天生的漂泊感。没错,金牛座是稳定的星座,但这是内心的淡定。对于我来说,我喜欢不受拘束,不用看人脸色做事。
每个金牛座内心都有一个阴暗的花园,没有人能进去。就像我从来不会让人见到我的眼泪和脆弱。
我怀念我的初中,因为初中是真正的我。
感谢今天的食之旅,感谢winnie和琨仔,让我有了做回自己的感觉。
谢谢你们......
23:16  |  平常小记  |  TB(0)  |  CM(0)  |  EDIT  |  Top↑

2011.01.26 (Wed)

Leave me alone.......

看生活大爆炸,sheldon说男人的荷尔蒙周期是33天......女人,嗯,似乎是比较好计算,因为有月经这样东西的存在,而且书上也明确写着――28天。所以.....
很了解我的人在这段时间就会让我一个人呆着......就连玩的比较好的男生也知道,这段时间――拳王很恐怖.....
理智告诉我要保持平和的心态.....所以,其实这段时间的我是真正的我....冷静得恐怖,不喜欢接触外界....最好的方法就是让我一个人呆着,让我安静地想想问题,或许很快就会没事。
如果这条道路走不通的话,还有一条,用人体的来解决――泪水。哭一次可能会有用,也可能会没用,但是如果情况不允许我一个人呆着而不接触任何人的话......这条可能比较有效。
如果以上两条道路都走不通的.....那只有采取言语上的形式....吵一架或者什么的,那也可以.....
但是我最喜欢的还是第一种方式......静静地,只有我一个....
21:05  |  亂七八糟  |  TB(0)  |  CM(0)  |  EDIT  |  Top↑

2011.01.16 (Sun)

wondering

From the latest blog to today's blog.....en....about a month.but during this month, I havea lot of to say....to think....perhaps...to do
yesterday i knew my Finance score-82. For god sake, yes I admit that I didn't spend much time on it.But before the exam, we almost knew the context of exam.....and although I had a fever for some days,but I still recited the book.Even Shiying got 88.And I only 82? ! I thought I could get the scholarship in sophomore year.In this case,scholarship is just a fairy tale that can't belong to me! I am upset!
These days I always think if I really perform the best I can.I don't know,I really don't know. You see, in high school, in senior 3,I really thought that through my diligent and hard work, I can go to FUDAN MEDICAL SCHOOL,and I think I really did very hard to achieve. But the face proved me wrong.Not only didn't I went to FUDAN, but also I gave up the doctor.I really shame on me!
Lots of time,I think I have done my best, but the result scared me.So I also comfort myself that I didn't do the best,I can be what I wished.
but is there a chance that the truth is I already did my best,but my ability is not enough,or to say,I overestimate my ability?I don't know!
So now, I'm very wondering.......I want to go abroad desperately, but if I can't apply the first class school,I won't go.
In the next semester, I will take the IBT exam......I really want to know, where is my line!
23:12  |  Damn English  |  TB(0)  |  CM(0)  |  EDIT  |  Top↑

2010.11.30 (Tue)

Failed but not sad

the exchange student list has already published, well, I failed~I'm not on the list.....
but I'm not sad, so strange......on the contrary, I'm very happy tonight
perhaps when I handed on the material, I know I won't succeed.
so, there's not so much hope~
during the interview,I learnt that I still have much to learn.my professional knowledge is so poor that I even think if I'm lucky enough to go to HK, I won't get through my lesson......not to say most of the lessons are taught by English
in this case,this failure also gives me an alert. I'm not so competitive as I thought before. I still have many many things to learn, to experience.
借用TWINS的一句歌词“小小的失恋不害人,更加添我成熟感”
maybe this can change into"the little failure doesn't matter, it can spur me on"
yes ~It can spur me on!
23:44  |  平常小记  |  TB(0)  |  CM(0)  |  EDIT  |  Top↑

魔法世界结束......

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